Wura's Story
Here we are telling the story of Wura, a girl that grew up in Direct Provision. If you wish to listen to the interview you can through this link.
My name is Wura, I'm 19 years old. I go to college in UCD. I was born in Nigeria and came to Ireland when I was three or four years old. I was put into a Direct Provision centre with my family, and we were in the system for 10 years.
Growing up in Direct Provision
I feel like I actually force myself not to remember a lot of it. I have flashbacks of when I was 5-6 but what I remember very vividly was the ages of 9-14 when I was in primary school, I feel like that’s when it sunk in. Obviously, I was growing up and trying to understand what my life was, and it was very difficult at that age. I don’t remember living in Nigeria at all. My mum would tell me stories about growing up there, but I feel like my life started properly when I came to Ireland, all the vital parts of life like going to school, going to college, everything like that was here.
My whole upbringing was in DP. The main thing I remember when I think back is about where we lived. It had these huge gates and security guards outside. It was difficult going to other people’s houses and thinking is this where I’m meant to be living too. As I got older, I started to realise more of what I didn’t have. Around 9-10, was when you’d be getting invited to parties and I was making friends with people in my school and all of that, so I’d be trying to be like one of the Irish kids, talk in the accent and make friends, but I was like we’re just from two different worlds.
Do you remember why you moved to Ireland?
I never really asked my mum about it; I could see that she was going through a lot. All I knew is that my mum came to this country for a better life for me and my sisters, so I wouldn’t get angry at her, like oh my god why did you bring me here to suffer. I wouldn’t think about things like that, it was more ok my mum brought me here and I have to make the best out of this opportunity. If anything bad happens just suck it up and smile whatever.
Did you find it hard to relate to those outside of direct provision?
Even now the majority of mine and my sisters’ friends are people we met in the centre because I personally feel like I can’t explain it to other people, they just won’t understand. They’ll be like oh I’m sorry, but my friends who were there with me they understand, and we can support each other. There’s just a barrier between, I don’t even really know what it is, it’s like the gates that I mentioned before, between the way that I grew up and the way that other people like my friends that weren’t in DP grew up, and it does create a barrier in the friendship. For me it was kind of irritating if my friends would be complaining about little things like not getting enough pocket money, or just giving out about stuff I would be so grateful for. I just can’t be around that kind of energy, so I had to get closer to the people who were in the same situation as me. Everybody does deserve to complain about their problems, but I feel like sometimes people are complaining about the bare minimum.
When I saw the recent report [on DP] by the Ombudsman for Children I actually cried because
you can see that children are still being damaged by the system and nobody is doing anything about it. These are children who have so much potential, they don’t deserve to feel so isolated from the world that they’re trying to have a better life in.
When you grow up it does affect you a lot. It’s just really terrible to see. When I was in primary school, I didn’t know how other children knew, and they didn’t even really know what DP was, they just thought that I was a foreigner in the country illegally.
They’d always threaten to call the police and have me deported. You’d be shocked, these are children bullying other children who are in a really terrible situation already and they don’t understand that, but they understand it enough to use it as a threat.
For me it doesn’t make sense. Where do they even get that information? I feel like children are exposed to things that they shouldn’t be exposed to and they’re just repeating what they hear and doing what they see. It’s just really not nice for children in DP, because these are the children that you’re trying to integrate with, and these are the children you kind of envy because you’re like wow you get to have an Irish passport and travel and do all of that because you were born in this country. Whereas for me I have to work for it and go through the whole system to get the same things. Some people, even though they have their papers, still struggle to get an Irish passport. It’s just very stressful, to be honest.
Do you have friends that are still in DP?
My sisters and I still have a lot of close friends in DP and we often get messages saying I wish one day I’ll get my papers like you. I try and convey the message of stay strong. I look up to people like Tumi speaking up [about the system]. When you’re in DP you’re scared, and I feel like you need to know and remember that you are worth more than the way other people treat you. Because not going to lie, sometimes people do act like you’re a second-class citizen and you’re not meant to be here. So just knowing you have as much right to be in this country as anybody else is important. At the same time, I feel like other people in the centre could be angry about someone speaking up because of the fear of retaliation. I definitely wouldn’t be speaking up about it if I was still in the system because I’d be afraid it could affect my status in the country as well. My mum wouldn’t have let me either, because of that fear. It’s like whistleblowing basically.
Tell me about when you were in school
I kind of just separated my two lifestyles – in the centre I was with the DP kids and in school, I separated myself and made friends with people outside the centres so that I felt a sense of belonging. I don’t know how to make it not sound bad, but I just wanted to feel normal and I felt if I hung out with the DP kids’ people would label me.
When you’re in DP they provide you with a bus to go to school so everyone would see you come out of a bus filled with foreign kids and they’d label you as foreigners and people would pass really dirty comments. I just didn’t like it when people made assumptions about me without knowing me, so I tried to separate myself from them when I was in school.
Some of my friends turned around and started passing rude comments about other people in DP so I had to be like you guys aren’t the friends that I want, and I started hanging out with the DP kids again. I know school can be difficult for everybody, but I feel like when you’re in DP. . .teachers as well don’t understand what you’re going through. I needed extra help with homework, not because I was stupid, but when I’d go home, I didn’t have the facilities to study or my mum isn’t the greatest at English so she couldn’t help me with my homework like other kids. I was trying to do everything myself without the support that other people were getting, it was just hard. I think my mum bought Wi-Fi at some point, but we didn’t have laptops or phones to access online stuff either, so I don’t think I’d be able to do well at all if the current pandemic was going on. I was trying to remember was there Wi-Fi at the centre and my mum was like no she bought it!
I don’t really ask my mum many questions [about life in Nigeria] because I know it’s a sensitive topic for her, so much has happened, she just lost her mum recently too. Technically me and my sisters are the only family she has. I only recently started talking more about living under DP and because of that my mum has been slowly opening up to me about her reasons for coming into the country. I feel like for everyone it’s a different story and a touchy subject, but I don’t know the full story yet.
I don’t know why it took 10 years for us to get our papers here. I have two sisters that were born in this country, but my little sister was so scared she’d be deported because she’s seen it happen to people before, it’s so sad.
When did you get out of DP?
I was just finishing my junior cert [when we came out of DP]. I was so happy, but at the same time I was so scared because after living in such a system and then going out into a new world I was just like what’s going to happen, how will people be with me? Are we still going to be seen as foreigners or are we going to be accepted? It was hard even looking for houses and my mum looking for a job because she didn’t have work experience, well she did have experience but no relevant experience in this country. I feel like because me and my sisters were older, we just supported each other, and it was hard, but we got through it. Me and my sisters do try really hard because we want to help our mum in any way we can. Even though we have come up it’s still hard because there are so many things to keep on top of bills and everything like that.
When I was doing my junior cert, I learned about scholarships. I wanted to go to college and knew my mum couldn’t afford it, so I worked really hard to get my education and do better.
I wanted to show that I’m trying to help out in this country. That’s actually why I chose nursing because I do want to help people. We were working towards a proper family holiday, but corona ruined that (laughs). I feel like we’re now getting those little exciting moments that most people have already had. You know those holidays to Disneyland and things like that. I just really want to go away with my family and get to experience that.
I feel like everyone thinks that once you get your papers you get your red passport, it’s not like that at all. After you get your papers you have to stay in the country for a few years before you can apply for your passport. Some of my friends even though they’ve been out of DP for a while, they still don’t have a passport. My little sister actually just received her passport a few weeks ago so we had a little family party. That’s 16 years to get a passport!
It’s a long process! You know the way in some countries they have that citizenship test you have to do to get the passport, I would have so much rather studied for a test than waited for that many years because oh god it’s not easy, it’s not easy at all.
What would you change in DP?
For me what’s most important when it comes to changing DP is the children. I don’t feel like there’s a way to just stop it, it’s not that simple, then what are you going to do for people who come to the country, what’s going to happen to them? The system is so bad they need to fix it in a way that’s less damaging. If they say you have to stay in DP for 6 months, ok make it 6 months, don’t be like 6 months, another 6 months, oops it’s been 5 years now. I have friends who are still in DP and they can’t work because it’s so hard to get a job when you have that refugee status. When I used to apply for jobs when I didn’t have my passport, they’d ask for so much stuff it was overwhelming.
Another way to improve the system is to make sure people know their rights as a person in DP, because I didn’t even know we had rights, or anyone advocating for our needs. I thought we just have to go through this, that everybody knows we’re going through this and they want us to go through this. I had no idea what we could ask for. When someone says no to you, even if you’re just asking for extra food, you’re just like ok I have to accept that because I’m lower than them, and I wish more people knew their rights.
Also, people going into college, I want them to have the same access to grants because apparently you can’t receive a grant if you’re in DP because you don’t fall under any of the categories. It’s heart-breaking because you see people your own age going to college and you know you’re capable of it, but you’re just not allowed to have the same opportunities and I think that’s really bad because so many people in DP have so much talent and so much to give to the country and people are just saying no. People just have that stigma or certain opinions of people in DP. They look at them as poor people, you’re looked at as stupid. So many people have degrees and qualifications from their country and if they could still work in the same industry, even if it was at a lower title, I feel like people would be happy to do that, but you’re just not given the opportunities or recognised the way other people are.
Any positives from the experience?
I feel like a positive take away from DP for me was just meeting friends, I’m telling you some of the people I’ve met are friends for life. We go to the same college, and when we were all applying, we had a group chat talking about what to do and that kind of thing. Like, one of my friends her dad got deported so she didn’t have him to help her apply for college, stuff like that, our support system is just different, and I think some friendships don’t have that joint experience. We look back at some stuff and just laugh. That dark humour, or whatever it is, we have together is amazing and I’m just so grateful for the people that I’ve met.
They should make a movie about DP because some of the stuff that goes on there is mad, you kind of learn to entertain yourself and make your own fun. I did enjoy your friends just knocking at your door. Stuff goes on that’s funny and you just have to lift your own spirits. The best thing now is that people are seeing what’s going on and taking action, because it’s one thing not knowing something is happening, but knowing and choosing to ignore it is the worst part. Right now, we live in a society where you can find information. Before, when I was living in DP, I didn’t even know what the system I was living in was called I just thought oh I’m a foreigner and I have to live in this situation. I feel like
if I knew when I was younger that DP was only supposed to last 6 months, I would have been so angry at the world, because why did 6 months turn into 10 years of my life? I actually only found that out this year! A lot of my friends have been in there for 5+ years so we just thought it was normal.
I thought some people were just lucky and got their papers earlier and some people have to stay for the long run. I never knew there was supposed to be a maximum amount of time you were in the system.
Were you moved around centres a lot?
I was moved around centres a lot too and I remember one place that I settled well, and I made so many great friends, and then the next year we were told you have to pack up your stuff and leave, go to a new centre. You actually just reminded me I have to look at my old class photo because I had friends who were in DP and we didn’t even get to say goodbye, I have to try and find them on Instagram or something and just be like hey! It’s funny but so bad. There’s no warning or anything like that, it’s just move. As a child it’s so hard constantly going to a new school and you’re just like will they like me here, will I make friends that kind of thing. One of my friends was meant to be going into third class but because she was moved around so much and missed a lot of school, she was put in second class, so everyone her age was above her and she was just so angry. She blamed her mum at the time too because she was like why do we keep moving, I want to stay - it’s sad. I think they can tell you on the same day that you’re moving, they just give you a few hours to pack. I mean you don’t have that much stuff to pack so they really don’t give you much time.
Did people give donations to your centre?
We didn’t get any donations to our centre when I was a kid but I remember there were volunteers who came, I really want to do this when I finish college, but they ran summer camps which was the highlight, that’s where I started making friends in DP. At the start we were all shy but when we went to the summer camps in the centre with the volunteers, we were made to talk to each other and just be friends and that was a great part of it. It must be really hard now during Covid for the people who relied on these kinds of social things. The bane of my life when I was a kid was that you had to get the bus back to the centre at 4 after school so you couldn’t do any afterschool activities. I wanted to do basketball training but if I didn’t get the bus back, I’d have no way of getting there because my mum didn’t drive or anything like that. My basketball coach was lovely so once a week he’d drive me home and drop me to the gates of the centre, I don’t know if he knew what was going on, he was American, but because I loved basketball so much, he’d always drop me home. We all loved him.
When it comes to socialising with people in DP, I feel like you shouldn’t even see them as people in DP. Before my friends knew where I grew up, they just saw me as Wura, and I don’t want them to see me as a DP girl. We shouldn’t create barriers for DP people to join stuff, there was so much I wanted to do but because of my status, because I was in DP, I felt like I couldn’t do it. Or I just wasn’t capable of doing it.
There’s a running club in Santry for people in DP and people not and it’s nice to have that mix because especially for me with sports, a sport is a sport it doesn’t matter where you’re from. If you can play the sport you can play the sport. I feel like that’s so important.
Going forward…
I feel like people should continue to spread awareness and let people know what’s going on with Direct Provision, because the more it’s talked about the more people are going to be willing to help. Make donations and just try and do your bit to help because it’s not easy.
Thank you for reading.
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